8. Length
From Joseph William's Style: Toward Clarity and Grace
Initial Summary by Group One: Donna, Dave, Rina, Krista, and Matt
Contents |
Chapter Summary
Introduction
Williams values length as a honed skill, one where the writer is able give their prose a certain "shape" without compromising clarity. Williams spends most of his time in this chapter addressing clauses and modifiers and how they can influence a sentence. It is evident that Williams is alluding to a higher level of cognition that is needed for the writer to be a proficient user of length. In Chapter 8 of Style: Toward Clarity and Grace Williams discusses length and how tricky it can be. He talks about length as a skill that one acquires through vast writing experience. Length can be difficult because you don't want readers to get confused, but you also don't want sentences to be choppy and short. Williams states that, "The ability to write clear, crisp sentences that never go beyond twenty words is a considerable achievement". He claims that someone who is a good writer will be able to write a clear purposeful sentence, regardless of word count. Williams concludes that there are key ways to make a long sentence, but still make it understandable to the reader; these key points are: coordination, subordination, movement and momentum, and artful interruptions.Overall, Williams' message is that a good writer is able to work competently within the mediums of both short and long sentences without sacrificing meaning or clarity.
Coordination
The goal of a writer is to gracefully join segments in a sentence by using conjunctions such as and, or, yet or but, and placing the aforementioned in the predicate, following the subject. Williams describes that we use these filler words so that transition inside sentences is smoother. We also use these words so that the reader does not have to hold their breath until the verb is stated. A great sentence transitions from an exact subject to a verb and then to a compliment, and if writers wish they can devlop the syntax. By doing this, the writer places segments of the clause in a more understandable order for readers.
There are two major problems that occur when coordinating clauses:
Faulty Parallelism. When we write sentences that have different grammatical structures, there is no parallelism, and readers get confused. One known rule of grammar is we should organize our segments in the same grammatical structure.
These advertisements persuade us that the corporation supports environmentalism but not to buy its frivolous products.
...environmentalism but not that we should buy its frivolous products.
Lost Connections. An important problem that arises while coordinating sentences is that of lost connections which confuse the reader. Without a concise connection, the sentence may be misread. Here are three easy ways to avoid such a problem:
1. Shorten the first half of your coordinated sentence, making the conclusive clause closer to the point of connection.
2. Repeat a word from the first half of your sentence that will emphasize the connection and reinforce the initial clause.
3. Make a strong connection by creating a new sentence.
Subordination
The idea of subordination can be explained simply by separating it into its use of three different modifiers: resumptive, summative, and free. Resumptive modifiers work by repeating a topically important word that appears near the end of a clause, in order to resume ideas related to that word.
- There is a good amount of underground music in Michigan, music such as La Dispute.
Summative modifiers work by ending a section with a comma, and then including a noun or noun phrase that allows a writer to continue commenting on the initially stated clause.
- A vegan diet is one that cuts out all animal products from consumption, a strict vegetarian diet of the sort is swiftly becoming more prominent in mainstream American culture.
Free modifiers work by following a verb, and comment on not only the verb, but also the subject.
- John Lennon promoted peace with his later post-Beatles music, allowing for fans of "The Beatles" to attain a better grasp on the idea.
Each of the aforementioned takes on subordination situations in writing, where they fit most accurately depending on a writers personal style.
Movement and Momentum
According to Williams, to write clear sentence one must have mastered rules that allow that sentence to be understandable regardless of length. A clear sentence short sentence can be just as beneficial as a long one. The longer sentences should allow the reader to take appropriate pauses and breaths, keeping the sentence from feeling rushed, hesitant, or abrupt.
Grammatical Connections
There are certain things that should not happen if a sentence is to flow well. If a sentence is exceptionally hard to read it is likely because the structure is “hesitant” as Williams states. If the structure seems “hesitant” the sentence is probably missing one of the most important of the grammatical links, which is the subject-verb, verb-object.
This following sentence flows well because the subject-verb, verb-object grammatical link is not broken by adjectives or clauses.
- “If a semantic theory is to represent on-line cognitive behavior in real-time terms, it must propose psychological processes more neutrally plausible than those described here.”
Often we will find sentences that seem to have a proper flow, yet are still breaking grammatical links. Sometimes breaking the subject-verb, verb-object link can create the illusion of a sentence that flows well. However, Williams states the subject-verb, verb-object link must remain intact in order to create grammatical sentences free of interruption. There are a few exceptions to this rule. Williams states that a competent writer may break the normal subject-verb, verb-object word order with certain phrases, clauses, or some short adverbs. It’s also good to remember that details are important. If one wants to avoid any possible breaks or glitches that hinder the rhythm of a sentence then take a close look at the use of adjectives.
There are however, a few exceptions to this rule. A competent writer may break the normal subject-verb, verb-subject word order with certain phrases, adverbs, or some short clauses. It is important to realize however that longer clauses and phrases do not fit as comfortably as do short adverbs, or short clauses or phrases.
The Smallest Connections
A writer must avoid adjectives that may have become detached from the phrases that modify them. These detachments will consequently disrupt the momentum of the sentence.
Here are some adjectives known for splitting off from their modifying phrases:
- more, than, equal, to, other than, as, similar to, etc.
Artful Interruptions
Though not interrupting the flow of a sentence is important in most cases, some interruptions can produce good effects when used artfully. Breaking this rule of style can show how much a writer has mastered his or her craft, and can make for a better, more interesting read to the audience. However, artful interruptions should be used mindfully and purposefully. Williams argues that these artful interruptions actually show the style of the author who produces them. Through these interruptions and asides the reader is able to see the true essence of the writer. Lastly, Williams states that when an author does ignore stylistic principles the reader will then be able to truly judge the writer's skill and levels of clarity.
Problems with Modifiers
Williams states the importance of writing for clarity and to avoid needless complications, this is articulated further in reference to modifiers. When one compiles numerous modifiers to a clause, sentences tend to become jumbled and effectively take the reader on an unnecessary journey away from the sentence's intended meaning.
Dangling Modifiers
A "dangling" modifier is a word or phrase that modifies a word that is not implicitly stated in the sentence.
- Upon entering the gymnasium, a basketball caught my attention.
In a few circumstances "dangling" modifiers are applicable. This exception only occurs when the modifier is a part of the metadiscourse.
- In order to finish a paper, it is necessary that it has a beginning, middle and end.
Misplaced Modifiers
Writers have been known to use modifiers that modify more than one thing, or are completely ambiguous and do not modify the intended clause.
- Just Mike was picked to be captain.
This statement would articulate that only Mike was picked, nobody else.
- Mike was just picked to be captain.
This statement would articulate that Mike was just picked this moment.
Pronoun Reference
In longer sentences writers incur a common problem with pronoun reference. If you feel like this may become an issue simply repeat the antecedent. You can use singular and plural pronouns to state what you are modifying.
- Professional athletes must always remember that their fans are really what athletics is about and their happiness is whats most important.
Application to Twitter
From Joseph William's Style: Toward Clarity and Grace
Initial Adaptation to Twitter by Group Six: Adam, Chris R, Jack, Kyle, and Steve
Coordination
When using Twitter, you can bring two segments in your tweet together by using and, or, yet, or but in the predicate, following the subject. Beware of the limit of 140 characters in Twitter, which could create a problem if your subject is too long, and confusing one's reader.
Subordination
Twitter is limited to 140 charcaters so in order to post long sentences you need to break them up into smaller sections. These broken sections of one's very long sentence will appear on Twitter in reverse order, and could be confusing to someone unfamiliar with the web site's format, but here are two ways to create long and elegant sentences in a micro-blog with a limited character count:
Resumptive Modifiers repeat a key word near the end of a clause, and resume the thought with a relative clause.
Example in Three Tweets: NBC has created situation comedies that were some of America’s best television entertainment, comedies such as Sanford and Son,...
...Seinfeld, and The Office, comedies that drew on the experience of a father and son junkyard operation, comedies about nothing,...
...comedies that showed the often absurb reality of corporate America.
Free Modifiers follow a verb but refer back to the subject.
Example in Three Tweets: The philosophy of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels questioned the foundations of capitalism,...
...forcing workers of the world to examine the profit made on their labor, encouraging the workers to form labor unions,...
...maintaining that workers had a right to profit from their own labor.
Movement and Momentum
The beauty of Twitter is that it keeps things moving. Short sentences are usually easy to grasp and digest, and Twitter makes this the rule, not the exception. The beauty of being forced to stop at 140 characters to take a breath and regain your footing should not be underestimated.
The major grammatical links that create, and hold sentences together are subject-verb and verb-subject. These links need to be clear and easy to grasp quickly. Do not muck up a Tweet by filling the space in between links with information that requires commas. Commas force us to take pauses to understand, and too many pauses make it hard to revert back to the links, which are the most important part.
The most common word order is subject-verb-object. Adjectives can be used to maintain a smooth tempo when they are placed after the noun. One shouldn’t split the adjective from the phrase that completes it. Keep the adjective next to its modifying phrase.
Artful Interruptions
While it is normally important not to interrupt the flow of a sentence, some accomplished writers do so with considerable effect.
Since Twitter is limited to 140 characters per sentence, or tweet, sentences are going to be naturally interrupted due to length. Mastering artful interruptions is the basis of good Twitter writing.
Take this passage from anthropologist Clifford Geertz’s Works and Lives: The Anthropologist as Author, a writer who writes primarily by thought, ignoring principles of style.
“The strange idea that reality has an idiom in which it prefers to be described, that its very nature demands we talk about it without fuss – a spade is a spade, a rose is a rose – on a pain of illusion, trumpery, and self-bewitchment, leads on to the even stranger idea that, if literalism is lost, so is fact.”
The sentence is choppy, doesn’t flow, and runs on. Geertz constantly interrupts his sentences by inserting his thought. While it seems strange in normal prose, it fits well on a Twitter page.
Example in Three Tweets: On a plain of illusion, trumpery and self-bewitchment, leads on to the even stranger idea that, if literalism is lost, so is fact,...
...and its very nature demands we talk about it without fuss – a spade is a spade, and a rose is a rose,...
...a strange idea that really has an idiom in which it prefers to be described.
Problems with Modifiers
Adding several modifiers to a Twitter post is even more confusing than using too many modifiers in a sentence of ordinary prose. This becomes especially confusing if the modifiers span two or more tweets, use modifiers with great caution in micro-blogs.
Dangling Modifiers imply subjects that differ from the specific subject of the clause that follows it. Make sure that either the main clause is in agreement with the implied subject, or just give every post its own subject.
Compare:
I was late to class because I broke down.
I was late to class because my car broke down.
Misplaced Modifiers are modifiers that seem to modify two or more subjects, or the seem to modify the wrong subjects.
Compare:
I thought the movie was pretty bad, but that one part was okay.
I thought that one part of the movie was okay, but the rest was pretty bad.
Pronoun Reference can become confusing especially when dealing with multiple tweets. If there is a chance that a pronoun will confuse your reader reuse the antecedent.
Compare:
I thought that it was pretty good, it had that one part with the car.
I thought that the movie was pretty good, it had that one part with the car.
External Links
Joseph M. Williams on Wikipedia
