5. Coherence I
From Joseph William's Style: Toward Clarity and Grace
Contents |
Chapter Summary
Introduction
An effective writer uses topic strings to create thematic paragraphs. These paragraphs then become the building blocks of coherent writing.
Paragraph Topic Strings
"Coherency" in writing is an abstract concept, unlike the concrete ones of making sure subjects and verbs are appropriate. The following principles are not unbreakable rules, but rather tools that should be used wisely.
Principle 1: A cohesive paragraph has consistent topic strings.
A topic string is a sequence of words used to connect topics and focus the reader's attention on the central ideas and subjects. Topic strings should be used to focus attention on a particular theme or point of view.
Principle 2: A cohesive paragraph has thematic strings.
Thematic strings are words that are related to the topic. These can be created by using a set of conceptually related words (which do not have to be just repeated words). Taken together, thematic strings should constitute a sequence that makes sense to the reader and show the core ideas as they relate to to the general idea.
Example: A paragraph’s main idea, or topic, is fast food and uses related words such as greasy, unhealthy, sodium, and cholesterol.
A final point to remember: Underestimate the reader’s understanding of your subject and make your strings clear.
How Do Thematic Strings Go Wrong?
There are two ways in which a paragraph’s thematic strings can go wrong. One is a matter of the writer not thinking hard enough and has produced too few coherent thoughts to string along in the paragraph. The only cure for this diagnosis is more brainstorming; no amount of style or organization can make few strings into more strings. The only thing to do in this case is to come up with more ideas to bolster the theme of the paragraph.
The second way thematic strings can go wrong is by having an unfocused paragraph theme. If the writer is discussing two themes in a paragraph he should use two words to describe the two themes. The overuse of synonyms confuses the reader by giving the impression of more than two themes because there are a dozen synonyms for the two thematic words. The advice to vary word choice is bad advice. Elegant variation of two themes by using several words to describe the two themes simply confuses the reader.
How Do New Strings Start?
A reader will feel that a paragraph is cohesive if they are introduced to a new topic and thematic strings in a predictable location: at the end of the sentence or sentences that constitute the opening section of the paragraph, section, or whole document.
The segment at the end of a sentence known as the stress position is usually the part of the sentence used to signal especially important information.
Stress positions within a sentence are important to keep in mind because they are used to draw attention to especially important information. These end-point stress positions signal to the reader that what they're reading is not only important, but that the themes are intended to be developed further. The stress position is used to introduce themes, but if you promise something in the stress point make sure you deliver it in the next passage. By omitting the promised stress point you will confuse the reader and they may not understand what you are trying to get across.
The opening of a paragraph determines how the reader will read the rest of the paragraph. Key words frame the concepts they will be reading and ensure that they will be thinking about them as the writer intended. To make sure that this happens, the thematic string key words should be placed as close to the end of the opening as possible.
Complex Introductions
Complex introductions use more than one sentence to introduce the topic in a paragraph.
Paragraph = Issue + Discussion
No matter how many sentences the writer uses in the introduction of a paragraph, the reader will try to divide units of organized discourse such as paragraphs, sections, or entire works into two sections:
1. In a short opening segment, the reader looks at the last sentence for important words that will direct them to the next themes.
2. In a longer following segment, the reader will look for new ideas against a background of repeated topics and themes.
The writer will describe the issues aimed at the reader, which are later followed by written discourse. The dialogue explains the issues, describes the examples, and gives reasons and evidence to defend the topic. The issues serve a similar purpose to the subject of a sentence, and the discourse to the verb and stress that follow.
Diagnosis and Revision
Revision Problems
A paragraph that feels out of focus or confused may encounter the following problems:
1. Introducing a concept at the end of an issue that readers think will be a theme, but failing to develop that concept.
2. Failing, at the end of an issue, to anticipate important themes that develop in the discussion.
3. Introducing a concept at the end of an issue in such a way that readers anticipate a different theme, but developing that concept using multiple terms that readers can’t connect to the theme.
4. Mentioning an issue or theme that develops in the discussion, but burying the references to that issue inside a sentence, instead of stressing the references in the final sentence of the paragraph.
Revision Solutions
Depending on the paragraph in question it may be necessary to do one or all of the following:
1. Look at the discussion independently of the issue and ask: what themes does the paragraph develop?
2. Weave into the discussion whatever important thematic strings you framed in the issue, but omitted from the discussion.
3. Delete from the issue whatever you don’t want to develop in the discussion.
Many of these problems are natural and occur during rough drafts- care should be taken to remove and revise them during future drafts.
Application to Twitter
From Joseph William's Style: Toward Clarity and Grace
Introduction
Williams's main point in the introduction is that writers should make sure readers not only understand the individual words and sentences of what they're reading, but also what it all adds up to and the overall meaning of the passage. This is an important concern for Twitter as well- a tweet may be understandable in that it's composed of correctly spelled words, but if the person tweeting fails to provide adequate explanation of what they're talking about it can quickly become confusing for somebody who is looking at their Twitter stream. However, due to the 140 character limit per individual tweet, there is often less emphasis on readability than there would be with other prose (i.e. people are willing to accept a lower quality of writing in Twitter because they know the limitations of it).
Paragraph Topic Strings
Williams lists five principles for diagnosing and revising writing that are hard to understand, the first of which is “Readers will feel that a paragraph is cohesive if it has consistent topic strings”. Topic strings help to focus a reader's attention on specific concepts, which is also important when using Twitter. Their application is rather different since Tweets are not long enough to contain paragraphs, but the general idea of wanting readers to focus on what you want them to understand is still an important one to keep in mind. The most obvious example is the hash tag tool, which allows you to "tag" your tweets according to their topic or category. If you were tweeting about Barack Obama, for example, you might put #BarackObama at the end of your tweet, which allows both you and people reading your Twitter stream to know at a glance what the main point of the Tweet is. The problem that Twitter presents in this case is the wide variety of possible "topic strings" or hashtags that can be used for the same topic; the same Tweet about Barack Obama could be labeled as #Obama, #PresidentofUSA, or many other ways, and this variability can make consistency difficult to find.
How Do Thematic Strings Go Wrong?
Williams discusses how thematic strings can go wrong in paragraphs. Since Twitter style writing is limited to 140 characters, it is difficult to apply how thematic string can go wrong in Twitter. What about when two different groups try to use the same hashtag?, e.g., #osu for Ohio State University and Oklahoma State University? Seems like that would throw a wrench into hashtag based strings.-DM
However, since thematic strings can go wrong when the writer uses too many synonyms for one topic, the writer should focus on being as direct as possible. Individual authors create strings or streams, but topical coherence also requires a shared vocabulary across multiple authors.-DM A tweet becomes cluttered when there is more than one topic being discussed, and nothing linking them together. If two topics are being discussed, it may be better to simply split each topic into individual tweets. Or use two hashtags?-DM Twitter is essentially ideal for these types of situations because Twitter format sets us up to discuss only one topic and to do it as clearly as possible. For example:
On occasion, you will see a tweet that says:
"Going to bed to get some sleep after a long day. The Killers are the greatest band ever."
How about an example using two or three hashtags to solve this problem?-DM
This phrase might confuse some readers, because they don't know what The Killers have to do with going to sleep. By separating these sentences into individual Tweets, the writer can be more coherent with their writing. Some argue that having two separate tweets minutes apart from each other is pointless, but many active Twitter users update their Twitter account multiple times in a matter of minutes. Users that do this include the nationally syndicated radio host, Glenn Beck, and pro-bowl football player, Chad Ochocinco.
How Do New Strings Start?
Williams' description of a good topic sentence, a statement of the topic with stress at the end, can be applied to new hashtags in Twitter. With a cohesive statement as the first tweet of the new hashtag, responses may be less likely to veer off-topic.
Complex Introductions
Using a multi-sentence introduction to a new hashtag can either be written within one tweet, or spread between two or more tweets, depending on how complex the topic is. This tactic would be more effective than using a one-tweet introduction. When using more than one tweet to begin a new topic, the point can be stressed more than once, placing emphasis on the track in mind.
Diagnosis and Revision
In twitter, just like in traditional written prose, several problems may arise which would make one’s message difficult to understand. For example, when twittering a response in a twitter stream, one might accidentally refer to another’s tweet without using the @ symbol to directly mention or respond to the person, thus causing confusion for those diligently following the stream. To fix such a problem, the twitter user could refer to Williams' suggestion to “weave into the discussion whatever important thematic strings you framed in the issue, but omitted from the discussion (page number?). After typing a reply then, one must review what they’ve written, making sure that all proper symbols are used so that their message will be as clear as possible.
External Links
Joseph M. Williams on Wikipedia
